Embracing Criticism
Artwork by Sarah Havens
Victor Frankl once wrote, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
When I stop to consider my life and the lives of those around me, I am nothing short of amazed. Everyday, diligent students across the country are doing their absolute best to meet their own goals, despite the distinctly difficult tasks we each face. Humanity, despite its flaws, persists in giving its best effort.
This week was a challenge. I jokingly say that the easiest part of college is the education, but the hardest part is the relationships: I struggle to build connections with the people around me, as my cold-hearted nature stirs up conflict and drives away the positive people in my life. Each morning I awake with full expectations to do by best, but inevitably I fall short. My inability to see and feel the emotions of others has caused more heartache than I’d like to admit, but as any reasonable person would confess, it is entirely impossible to live a perfect life, free of negative emotions.
The freedom to write and publish short articles opens up the certainty of making mistakes. A common practice for new writers is to write freely on a sheet of paper, then throwing it away, no matter what. This process is called, “Writing for the wastebasket”. I’m sure the same practice also exists in other artist fields, but my point is this: the process of creativity produces more bad than good. As the author, it is my responsibility to identify the few good things I do, and throw out the rest. Making mistakes is unavoidable, no matter what the process looks like.
I think it is necessary that each person discovers what creative potential they possess, and identify a process by which they can express their talents. I’ve never once thought of myself as a creative individual, because I never understood what my creative process looked like. Now I understand that in the absence of traditional work, I am able to produce the best writings, with the deepest personal meaning.
My writing process is a journey. For every 1000 words I write, only 100-200 are ever published. This heavy revision - throwing out 90% of my work - creates growth within myself. Deciding which words matter most can be exhausting, but it is absolutely necessary to throw out everything that damages the purpose and plot. The juice must be worth the squeeze.
If there is an unlimited number of individual personalities, then there is also an unlimited amount of errors to be made. It’s clear to me that some moments of creativity are better than others, even accounting for personality differences. Moving one step forward is irrelevant when you are also moving two steps backward. In the same way, creative work must not be at an expense greater than its own worth. Relationships need maintained, bills need paid, and the laundry still needs done.
Responsibility and discipline are integral parts of the creative process. Without dedication, creativity transforms from a gift into a burden. Commitment in the face of failure grants each person a unique opportunity to learn hard lessons about reality. In my own work, I’ve undoubtedly experienced this pain of rejection, judgement, and criticism. However, persistence is necessary.
The opinions of others can be considered one of two ways: insightful or offensive. Choosing how the message is received comes down to each person’s own interpretations. My reaction dictates how beneficial a failure can be in my own journey, but this is true for you as well. If I choose to take offense to each negative comment I receive, then I allow myself to become enslaved to the opinions of others. But if each failure is seen as an opportunity to improve, then life itself becomes worth living. How so? Because it means that there is still room for me to grow and develop as a person. Making mistakes is not the problem: refusing to grow from them is the real offense.
Our culture is relationally focussed: We live life by building relationships with our friends, family, and coworkers. In the evenings and on the weekends we spend time with these people, enjoying the company of those whom we care about the most. In this, we positively impact the lives of those around us. Despite this truth, my method of encouragement is seen as blatantly demeaning and hurtful, notwithstanding my best efforts. This failure on my part needs addressed.
My hope is that my life, and the witness I bear, does not bring harm or distress, but builds people up in truth and love. I try to surround myself with people who want to improve and push themselves the same as myself, but in reality however, I fail to live up to this standard myself. It’s unfair of me to expect perfection of others, when I myself cannot attain such character.
There is an overwhelming need for encouragement right now. Moral, in my opinion, is at an all-time low. We’ve been battling Covid for nearly two years, inflation is on the rise, the price of gas is skyrocketing, the labor crisis has just begun, and the amount of political unrest is disheartening. In these moments of uncertain and fear, we should be building each other up. I need to do a better job of uplifting and encouraging those who need it the most. My heart needs to be in a constant state of compassion-showing and life-giving.
So, if you’ve made it this far and still feel discouraged, then I’ll close with this: Your spirit can inspire others. Your life can be that light shining on the hill. We each have this unique opportunity to commit ourselves to each other, in love and support of one another, to bring about a vital spark of regeneration and hope for the amazing future that is to come. Our lives, and the communities we share, can become a source of life to those who have none. We should hold each other accountable, and push onward to this better and brighter tomorrow, knowing that innumerable failures will persist. But in the face of failure we can stand jointly together, learn from our mistakes, and do our best the next day. Your perspective can spark the imagination of another. Your work can inspire others.
None of my accomplishments are my own. Rather, they are the result of the hard work and dedication of those special people in my life who propelled me to where I am today. Their love and constant support has brought me here. So many people have chosen to commit themselves toward my betterment, even though I don’t deserve it. The least I can do is reciprocate that same love and devotion to others. I fail, miserably sometimes, but this should become my unrelenting aim.
“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.”
- Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning